I sometimes wonder about what keeps a relationship together. After having recently gone out on a second date with the woman I am currently more than infatuated with, she received an unexpected email from another woman whom I had only dated twice. Irony? Was this some cruel joke being played on me by Fascist, hitmen, or by the damn Portuguese who work for Hallmark? What kind of greeting card do you send to someone in this situation?
This made me think of duality. Why had their paths crossed? What was the universe trying to teach me? Here I had in front of me two very distinct women who had nothing in common. On one hand I had a woman who I am so completely into and the other a woman I regret ever even had making her acquaintance.
The duality was strong, as I cared for one and loathed the other. So I shall refer to them as love and hate.
My experience with Hate was simple; a woman who lived 1200 miles away who I intermittently chatted with for a few months and who would visit her family here in Los Angeles from time to time. Two dates in total, a few hours of conversation and a whole lot of arguing. Arguing because we both wanted to be right. After the second date Hate told me that she did not find any romantic chemistry with me and that she didn’t even want to be my friend. After sometime of struggling to even have a friendship with Hate I was relieved. I was tired of hearing about the men that Hate dated, and the marriage proposals she received on a weekly basis. Not that I cared, but it gets old.
My experience with Love from the very beginning was amazing. For the first time in a while a woman sought me out and wrote me. As I began to learn about her, the similarities between us are amazing. I was she and she was I, just the packaging was different. Our first encounter was romantic and was something only I could have imagined in the movies. I have had amazing first dates and encounters before. But this topped anything proceeding completely. I was drawn in instantly by the beauty of her words and later by the beauty in her eyes. Needless to say I was completely smitten over this kitten. By the second date I felt we both wanted a third, forth, and many more after that.
My world was great until Hate got curious to read comments on myspace that I had left for Love and comments Love had left me. I can only speculate what happened next, but Hate became angry at what she saw. Perhaps it was the fact I was not distraught over not wanting to be my friend anymore or perhaps it was her own jealousy. Had she immaturely thrown a good friend away? The events the followed can only be described as such, immaturity. Not to mention hurtful for everyone involved.
Hate took it upon herself to write Love, she told Love that I was a beast to be dealt with and after calling Love a lil girl, she proceed to explain how I was nothing but a predator internet whore who would promise the world all for a piece of ass. As anyone can imagine after only been out on two dates with Love, she was distressed and flustered. In fact she was outraged at the possibility I had lied to her. Naturally when I found out what had transpired I was angry, sad but most of all dumbfounded the lengths a woman will go to interfere with the life of a man who she had already disposed. I was starting to feel the treatment I had given the damn Portuguese all these years.
I will admit once I realized it was Hate who had written love I felt a sigh of confidence, I knew truth would prevail. But could I prevail? Would knowing I held the truth set us both free? Something like this for a young woman is a red flag, not only for her, but those around her. At such an early stage in the relationship the influence of family, friends, and other spectators can change destiny.
Although Love and I had worked through this, she had everything she needed to see the truth as it was, I still could not help to wonder what this did in the long term to our relationship. What keeps a relationship together?
I realize in the great words of Moz, “I am hated for loving.”