Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Can the addict be held accountable for the actions he does while intoxicated? Including things they did, said, or thought? If he commits a crime do we or should we punish the drug or the one abusing the drug?

Yes and no, we can hold accountable the person for taking the drugs in the first place. Yes because their actions were a result of taking the drug that lead them to commit, say, and think things that perhaps they shouldn’t have. And if they act on criminal instinct they are responsible. Yes because we can hold accountable the animal inside for being weak, and the only no because we all make mistakes once, this is coming out of rehab, the second time we deserve any consequences we create.

Another way of saying this is:

Can someone in love be held accountable for the actions they do while in love? Including things they said, did, or thought about their lover, friends, and family? If they fall so deeply in love do we punish them for being in love or chastise the act of falling love?

In this perspective we see how we have all committed the crime of falling for someone, however we are responsible for our actions no matter how love drunk we had become. We know before we fall in love with someone where it will lead because we should have a good idea of who the person is, however this is not always the case. People can lie about whom they really are. Falling in love is our responsibility, although we tend to loose all reason when we meet someone new, but perhaps we need moderation. Sometimes we fall so deeply in love, and speaking of only falling in love not true love, that we forget those who really care about us, love us, and worry for our holistic well being. Love is a drug, and we sometimes get addicted to its effects.

The analogy of staying out late and getting drunk only to wake the next morning do we realize, and sometimes not remember what we did the night before. We say to ourselves “ I did what?!” “With who?!” “I can’t believe I was so stupid!”. We swear to ourselves we will never drink again, but eventually we do, hopefully with moderation the next time. The same is true for love. We become love drunk and if and when it does not work out we find ourselves hung over asking those questions and seeing the damage if any that we have done. Usually there is.

The most common for any of us is we tend to forget our friends even if just for a moment, and a moment is already to long. If it is really bad we ignore our families more than we should. We also do things we swore we would never do, we sell out our hearts just for the attention the other gives us and we know its wrong. After eating menudo for the heart we realize the person we have hurt the most is ourselves by neglecting our very selves, our families, friends and our passions most dear to us.

This is my apology to my family, friends, art, and most importantly to myself. Although I can say it was the drugs (love) speaking. I take full responsibility for any moment I made you feel distant, abandoned, hurt, sad, or just the feeling like I didn’t care anymore.

The most I can hope for from this experience is to learn, learn love in moderation while maintaining an unselfish commitment to family and myself. I can say in this instance I never meant to hurt or abandon any friendship that I have been so blessed with.
Espero aprender, aprender amar con medida sin de ser egoísta con una promesa de amor a mis amigos y mi familia. Nunca jamás quise abandonarles, herirles, o lejarme de Uds.

For that alone I am sorry for the hurt, I can not apologize for the lesson I have learned as it is now my responsibility to make it well damn worth was has been, might have been lost to see inside what truly has been gained.

The ego only has as much power as we give it.

Puede ser que un adicto intoxicado debería ser responsable por sus acciones? Incluyendo todo lo que hizo, dijo, y pensó? Si haga un crimen debemos juzgar la droga que se tomo, o el pecador mismo?

Si y no, hay que ver la persona que se tomo la droga en primer lugar es responsable, si porque sus acciones fueron resultados por haberle tomado la droga. Si porque hay un animal dentro responsable, y lo único no es que todos somos seres humanos y en vez en cuando equivocamos. Mas que menos...

También podemos verlo de esa manera:

Es la persona enamorada responsable por sus acciones que hace durante el enamorarse? Incluyendo todo lo que hizo, dijo, y pensó por su amante, sus amigos, y su familia? Si esa persona haya caído tan profundamente enamorada juzgamos la persona o el acto del enamorares?

Viéndolo así, entendemos que todos hemos cometido el crimen de enamorarnos de alguien, sino somos responsables por todo que hacemos mientes que estemos pedos del amor. Sabemos hay que conocer la persona bien, aunque no siempre es así. A veces la gente miente. El enamorarse es nuestra responsabilidad, sin embargo a veces no podemos controlar la manera en que se cae. Aun difícil recuérdense el amor en medida siempre es mejor. A veces caemos tan profundamente enamoradas, hablando del enamorarse no del amor verdadero, nos olvida quienes somos, quienes nos quieren, y lo que nos importa más. El amor es una droga, y en cualquier momento nos hace adictos a sus efectos.

Parecido al estar borracho, despertando el siguiente día encontrándonos crudos, nos damos cuenta de todo los que hicimos la noche anterior, y a veces no. Nos digamos “Cabron, que hice?!” “Hijo de puta, no lo creo!” O “Que pendejada!” Nos juramos que jamás volvemos a hacerlo así otra vez, pero siempre llega la noche que si pero esa vez con medida. Lo mismo se debe hacer en los asuntos del amor. Emborrachamos del seno de Venus, y cuando no funcionan bien las cosas nos encontramos crudos, preguntando porque hay tanto daño. Y siempre hay.

Es común olvidarse de nuestros amigos, si solo por un instante eso ya es demasiado. Si pensamos con el ego, olvidamos de la familia mas de debemos, nos encontramos haciendo todo lo que ya nos hemos dicho que jamos haríamos, sino ahí estamos. El vender el corazón por un poquito amor ya es tarde. Solo después de haber comido menudo para el corazón podemos entender los porques. Sabemos que hemos lastimado a nuestra familia, amigos y más que alguien más nosotros mismos.

Así entonces eso es un lo siento a mi familia, amigos, arte y mi mismo. Podría decir que era el amor, pero no. Tomo a pecho todos los momentos en los cuales podría haberles herido. No los abandone y por eso lo siento.

Por eso lo siento por el duelo, sino por la enseñanza gracias. Espero que todo valió.

El ego no existe, y solo tiene el poder que le damos.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

La Marcha!

The largest march of any of our lifetimes took place today, the 25th of March in the 2006th year of our lord. The see of brown flowed through the streets of Los Angeles. Simultaneously in my hometown of Denver, Colorado the same was under way.

The sleeper has awakened signs read as estimates up to 500,000 filled the streets of Los Angeles. “Un montón de gente” said one Spanish radio reporter.

Mayor Villaregosa gave a speech that moved the crowd. Dedications to Cesar Chavez and Rodulfo Corky Gonzalez were heard in the loud speakers, I gently holding back a tear remembering Denver.

The freeways we at a standstill as la raza converges on the over passed, the cars below honking and waving flags not only Mexican, but of every other pais, country, from latin America. Pride flags were waived

Groups of people came in groves, from their churches, student organizations, health centers and clinics. Asians, Blacks, Whites, and Arab marched through the streets.

The pigs had divided the march into three sections. Chanting from migrant workers saying they had come to live or die on this day.

As millions of people around the country have protested, the fate of HR4437 looms over us all.

The largest march in US history took place and I was part of it, documenting and remembering my brothers and sisters back in Colorado.

I was moved as I saw young girls walking with their mother to their car chanting, “Si Se Puede”. The march long over those three words stuck in their hearts forever.